It’s the closest I can get to dying, but in a good way.
Yes, it’s true. I almost came close to just throwing it all away. Why? Because I can’t take it anymore. All that pressure, work, and The Everyday. What stops me from doing it at all is sleep. Whenever that temptation to kill myself comes up, I sleep it off in the hope of waking up later without a bad taste in the mouth. Then reality goes back and so does that vicious cycle of going down then leveling out then going down agin. It never works well.
Will I ever do it? I don’t know.
Is there a chance? Always.